Wednesday, 31 August 2011


So my roommates are all home. Delightful! And hard. I don't know why this is always so hard for me, why we always feel the need to resettle our dominant roles. I will just think of it as an exercise in submission. I will take the non dominant role. I will stop trying to push my way first. And just rejoice in our reunion! Community is not an easy walk, but it is joyful!

Friday, 26 August 2011


How important is it to be logical? Yes, when planning an essay or solving an equation it's useful, but in our relationships to God and to others, where is the place of logic? I do not seem to place a high priority on it. It rarely influences my emotions, and only sometimes my decisions. I take my intuition seriously. Perhaps too much so?
I don't intend to disregard my emotions or intuition in order to be more logical. But is there a way to integrate it and to be more careful in my thoughts and speech so as to be aware of where I am making leaps of imagination?

Tuesday, 23 August 2011

new blogs

my sister and I created our own blog, to write to each other, and then I thought it was such a cool idea I created one for my roommates too! Lots of writing.

Saturday, 20 August 2011


I am awake. I don't know why. Maybe I'm just hungry. Maybe I should be praying. Maybe I should eat, and then pray, but what am I praying for? For a friend who wants to love I guess. To love the lord God with all his heart, mind, soul, power. For wisdom.

cyn·i·cism  (sn-szm)n.1. An attitude of scornful or jaded negativity, especially a general distrust of the integrity or professed motives of others:

'The root of all sin is the suspicion that God is not good.'
~Oswald Chambers

Cynicism does not bring us any closer to God; if we are to love and have faith we must have childlike hearts. Cynics do not have childlike hearts. We have hard hearts, and hard heads, and we like it that way. That is not godly. It does not protect your heart or your head. It does not save you anguish or fear or anxiety. It gives Satan a foothold. I'm not talking about doubt, I am talking about persistent desire to disbelieve. An unwillingness to believe anything without proof.

Mark 9:23-24
And Jesus said to him, “ ‘If You can?’ All things are possible to him who believes.” Immediately the boy’s father cried out and said, “I do believe; help my unbelief.” 

I say with the boy's father "I do believe; help my unbelief."

Sunday, 14 August 2011

counting pearls

I count pearls and prepare to bake buns.
I am a most excellent baker woman
“These eggs just jump up and slap you in the face.” F.J.
What set off the sea change?
Time for sleep
Just start writing
mama, I'm drinking ginger pu'erh tea
Are we corn people?
out of service area interruption
Oh Captain Jack...
writing, supposed to be writing
Harriet Jones, former Prime Minister
yes, I have a Buffy bookmark in my Bible
Bam! That was an I'm an excellent writer woman bam...i want more tea
what's happening? what's going on? i need to know.
dripping tea on my white skirt
flying queen moths, Moth-Ra!
wait- flying queen ant
ants open peonies, without them, you'd never get a bloom.
if i just leave facebook open I'll probably check it less frequently...
go back to the beginning, work the land and walk around naked without shame
I kind of want to be Amish
I love punctuation
back up
back up
back up
writing writing writing
I have a duty to farm.
I would really like some tea now.
I'm supposed to be done now.
I'm on the home stretch
my mind is fried
can I do it?
75 more words...

Saturday, 6 August 2011


 "Those who believe that they believe in God, but without passion in their hearts, without anguish of mind, without uncertainty, without doubt, without an element of despair even in their consolation, believe only in the God idea, not God Himself."

~Miguel de Unamuno

Thursday, 4 August 2011

artful compostion of magnetic poetry 3

devour her warm & moist eye
fat & joy ful
blush explore
soft laugh
universe home stream
champagne steam
linger  breath
melon bellow  morning
animal  know  flower
ocean eternity of
deep red
celebrate ferocious  sex

(co-written with Anahid Adjemian and Malek Yalaoui)

artful compostion of magnetic poetry 2

ghost cat growl s
trust less
hard heart ed

listen girl child


look at dark glass
as if translucent

Unfilled Prescription

Difficulty is

Unbucked up, walk-
ing as if

moving, boots-
traps tucked.

Birds chin up,

around a glint.

~Susan Holbrook
from Joy Is So Exhausting